The Power of Dialogue

Laura Bush's trip to the Middle East is part of an ongoing effort to show the people in this region that Americans can be helpful and likeable as well. I have my own recent experience to tell as well.

Bob and I were just in Amman, Jordan which was the final stop of a ten day vacation visiting the Gulf in countries such as Bahrain, Oman and the UAE. It was a vacation/familiarization trip since we are posted to Israel yet never really thought we would go to this part of the world. Sound familiar??

In Amman I contacted a colleague of mine. He has an environmental education NGO and I met him as a fellow participant of the Earth Charter Education Conference in Urbino, Italy in 2003. We had many long talks about peace in the Middle East at the time and created a very interesting relationship during the conference. He was very frank with me. He was so angry at American diplomats/Americans because of their/our support of Israel, our support of bad Arab governments, etc. He said he would have to refuse to see my husband if I came to Amman, but would love to work with me on Earth Charter projects. Because he and I agreed completely about the need to promote the Earth Charter's principles as a way to nurture a just, participatory and sustainable global society.

When we got to Amman, he was now in the role of host, so welcomed both of us graciously. Bob is a very friendly guy. He is also the Environment, Science, Technology and Health Officer in Tel Aviv, so there were many things they could talk about. I sat in the back of the car and just let them get to know one another.

He took us to “Wild Jordan” which is a wonderful eco-friendly restaurant, center and show-case for the environment – organic food, beautiful textiles and jewelry, wonderful view, maps and calendar of environmental events. It was a project of USAID.

As we approached the dining area, Bob asked if he had been in touch with the Environment Officer in Amman, and how many such civil society organizations worked with the US embassy. He said recently there was a reluctance for anyone to work with the embassy on projects (because of the conflict). Bob paused at this but didn't say anything.

At dinner I approached him with the idea of having an Earth Charter Conference together with Palestine and Israel. He nearly lost his cool!!! and said that it was not possible at this time. But then I spoke about the value of dialogue in my work. How the Earth Charter principles and our effort at living them could be part of a new sea change here in the Middle East. He then thought about it and said it could work. We could start by doing activities in the individual countries, he said, and then have a conference after that. You could see the sea change in him already as he became part of the solution.





















Dialogue Skills:
The real essence and practice of humanism is found in heartfelt, one-to-one dialogue. Be it summit diplomacy or the various interactions of private citizens in different lands, I think genuine dialogue has the kind of intensity described by the great twentieth-century humanist and philosopher Martin Buber (1878--1965) as an encounter “on the narrow ridge” [2] in which the slightest inattention could result in a precipitous fall. Dialogue is indeed this kind of intense, high-risk encounter. Too little courage and nothing changes. Too much force and the person will get angry.

To be successful,a you have to connect in such a way as to remove the ingrained stereotypes, dogmatism or whatever prevents that person from being connected to the community of life. That is why heartfelt dialogue, one-to-one, is the key.








As ripples of dialogue multiply and spread, they have the potential to generate the kind of sea change that will redirect the forces of fanaticism and dogmatism. Your small efforts to talk to people in such a way that they see your worth makes you part of that sea change. The cumulative affect of such seemingly small efforts is, I believe, sufficient to redirect the current of the times.

Etiquette:

Email etiquette with Arabs – email and then call the person and discuss the content of the email. Don't think, like I did, that if they don't email you back they are not interested in what you have to communicate.


Good Idea:

Learn ten words in Arabic. Especially “Salaamalaykum.” Saying this establishes you as wanting to be inside Arab culture and not a stranger.
They will reply “Alaykumsalaam”
I used this a lot in Turkmenistan with taxi drivers and instantly created a rapport with them.



Please send your thoughts, questions, answers and good ideas to Stephanie Tansey at talk@aafsw.org.